Sunny Day, Chasing the Clouds Away

Today's blog is brought to you by the letters I S F and E.

I'm so friggin' exhausted. My schedule was not meant to be done by one person. Or three, for that matter. However, I can't in good conscience complain. We all know by now that I function better at the speed of chaos. There are times, though, when I suspect my mission to out-wonder Wonder Woman will bite me in the arse.

What to do? I've been afflicted with SARs my entire adult life. No, not Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome. I wish. I Suck At Relationships. I'd like to have a successful relationship. I'd also like to have a money tree, but that doesn't seem likely either.

While I'm at it, I'd also like to come up with a smashing segue into my theory on online dating...but I can't seem to get anything I want today. Instead, I'm just gonna run my neuroses up the flag pole and see who salutes them.

If someone posts pictures on a dating website and they don't show teeth in any of them, there is a high probability they have jacked up teeth. Or possibly missing teeth. If they list themselves as 5'10", they are most definitely 5'7". The rule of three inches applies whenever measurements and men are concerned, so keep that in mind. If all their pictures are taken from across the room, be concerned. Be very concerned. If they IM you and almost immediately make reference to their nymphomaniac ex-girlfriend, they are a definite 'no'. Nymphomania should never be discussed within five minutes of 'Hi, I liked your profile'. If they list their last book read as 'The Last Song' by Nicholas Sparks, they are lying. No man has read that book. At least no single-man-looking-for-single-woman man.

I'm neurotic today because...
...I mistakenly thought I'd have time to sit and eat dinner tonight, and as a result, I was ten minutes late picking up Jacob from soccer practice. Which led to tears. Which led to guilt. Which led to, well, this.