Daytime television sucks. As if enduring mind-numbing flank pain isn't bad enough, I'm stuck with the likes of Jerry Springer for entertainment. I can't believe this idiot has been on television for 20 years. Apparently, a bunch of rednecks ripping their mother/sister/cousin's hair out never gets old.
I'm in day number four of my kidney stone bed rest, and my crazy meter is in the red zone. Maybe I'm just a little scarred from being the ER department freak show Wednesday night. I guess everyone has their special talent...mine, apparently, is forming and passing kidney stones the size of boulders. I'm not kidding when I tell you the nurse called half the ER staff into my room to take a peak into my specimen jar. The physician treating me simply raised his eyebrows and declared, 'impressive!'. Even the CT tech asked, 'Are you the patient who passed the really big kidney stone?' Relating my face to the mass floating in my urine jar is not really the impression I'd like to leave the good folks at GBMC. Gross, I know, but true.
I've lost three days to Dilaudid. I'm not going to lie, being semi-comatose was a welcomed change to wanting to die. But now that I'm coming out of it, I've turned into a big whiny baby. I don't want to be a big whiny baby...it's just that I don't feel well enough to do anything, but laying in bed is giving me bleacher butt or something. Not to mention, I've been nearly 3 weeks pasta-free, I've missed 4 days of my p90x workout and now I'm alone for the weekend. Wah! Wah! Wah! God, I'm annoying myself, I can't imagine how you feel about me.
Now about this television situation...what the crap is up with Big Brother? I must sound like a bright shining ray of sunshine compared to those sobbing drama queens. Good Lord. And who is watching all these judge shows? Last I knew, Judge Judy had that market cornered. Oh, and the soap operas! I lol'd when I saw that Hope was alive again on Days of Our Lives, and Sami's son was now 18 years old. I've decided I should star in a soap opera...they never die and they don't age.
I'm neurotic today because...
...I'm through season one of my Sex and the City weekend marathon and I'm still a whiny baby. I may need to call in reinforcements.
I must say, the kidney stone WAS impressive!! But something's gotta give next time we go to an ER. I don't know which was worse, the protruding, bleeding rectum or the grown man crying like a kid that was just told he was grounded. They really need to step up the entertainment for us next time!!
ReplyDeleteAs for the whiny baby in you...I think anyone that passed a kidney stone the size of Delaware has the right to be a whiny baby. But thats just me! :)
I would've loved to stick around for the Sex and the City marathon. Sorry I had to work...*sigh*. I would give anything to be eatin pizza and watching the episode where Carrie says..."this day will officially be known as the day I was busted for smokin a doooooobie." :)
I hope tomorrow is a better day for ya.