The #1 Reason I'm Not In Bed Right Now

I'm a list maker. To-do. What Not To-Do. Pro/Con. Agenda. Grocery. Bucket. You get the idea. I thought since I've been away from the blog for a few days, I'd let you know what's been on my mind in a nice, concise set of lists.

Top 5 New York City Inadequacies:
5. Lunch fare available at 10am.
4. My own personal GPS-driven 'You Are Here' indicator on all city bus, subway, and museum maps. I know the Man is watching me, so he might as well make himself useful.
3. Beverage vendors mid-Central Park.
2. Proper breast support for the local women. Unless, of course, floppy breasts are the new black and I haven't received the memo yet.
1. Cab drivers that make me feel safe.

Top 5 Reasons You Should Go to College When You're Young:
5. The ability to retain what you read the first time you read it, not the fifth time.
4. You can still get away with asking your parents for lunch money.
3. You're likely to have more in common with your classmates than the instructor.
2. You will graduate before your children do.
1. Your student loans will be paid off before you retire. Or die.

Top 5 "Manly" Things I Am Capable Of Doing, I Just Don't Want To:
5. Deal in any capacity with a rodent or rodent-like invader of my home.
4. Connect the TV-Cable-DVD-Wii wires to make it all functional.
3. Understand anything automotive.
2. Belch/release audible flatulence in public.
1. Grow a mustache.

In a related matter, I also have an affinity for countdowns:
27 hours until I'm reunited with Britt at the Spoon/Arcade Fire show.
14 days until David Gray/Ray Lamontagne.
3.5 weeks until I can use my backpack again.
2.25 months until Vegas, baby.





I'm neurotic today because...
....5. I'm 10 days pasta-free. 4. I'm still P90X-ing with a bum shoulder and two defective knees/calf muscles. 3. I want nothing more than to spend a week alone with my children. 2. It's Sunday evening, the only time in the week worse than Monday morning. 1. I'm addicted to my Netflix 'Watch Instantly' queue.