All Signs Point To Dementia

Over the course of the past few months, my stupidity level has been off the charts. At least I hope it's stupidity, and not early onset dementia.

On more than one occasion, I have peed in the dark and turned the light on as I left the bathroom. At no point as I sat on the toilet or washed my hands after, did I realize I was in the dark. It was only when I flipped the switch and the room lit up that the lightbulb above my head also illuminated. Only, unlike a cartoon character, I didn't have a brilliant idea. I just realized I'm a dummy. Apparently, the bathroom is an abyss where my intellect goes to die. I've also, on more than one occasion, blown dry half my head of hair and put away the hairdryer...only to realize that the other half is still soaking wet. At these moments, all I can do is shake my half-styled head of hair in amazement.

This weekend all the planets aligned, allowing me to have off work, arrange a dog sitter, and be gifted a free place to stay in Ocean City for a few days. (Thank you to everyone who made that happen.) Even with a seemingly flawless plan, I managed a few moments of what-the-heck-was-I-thinking. First, I had no idea the Bay Bridge was a toll road. Yes, I drove over the death trap several times in my life, but obviously had no recollection of paying to do so. Luckily, I keep emergency change in the car. I'm sure the toll operator didn't mind at all accepting a handful of nickels and dimes as payment. She probably gets that all the time. Or so I'm telling myself.

As everyone living in the greater northeast is aware, we've had record setting heat the past few weeks. I can't conceive of going without the use of air conditioning. I hate the heat with a fiery passion (literally). If I could construct an air conditioned bubble to transport me from the office to my car to my home, I would. Yes, it's that serious. So imagine my panic when mid-way through my drive to the beach I was not cooling off, despite the A/C blowing full blast. Frantically, I adjusted the temperature and direction of the vents. No dice. Unbelievable, I thought. My A/C decides now, of all times, to malfunction. As it turns out, at some point in my heat-induced spaz attack, I bumped the seat heater. Yep, that's right. I drove 4 hours with a heated seat, and couldn't for the life of me figure out why I couldn't cool down.

I'm neurotic today because...
...I've stocked up on word searches, 2000 piece puzzles, and sodoku in hope of reversing the effects of what I fear is a serious loss of gray matter.