My perspective

The past few days my answering machine has been riddled with messages from my local politicians. More than anything, I'd like to return the call and let them know that their message makes me want to drop kick them in the throat. An effective campaign would tell me more about what the candidate is prepared to do, and less about what his opponent can't do/lied about. This got me thinking...

I'm going to run for office under the following campaign slogan: "If you suck, you get nothing".

Here are some basic guidelines to my plan:
~If you hate your job and you take it out on me, you suck and you get nothing. I did not ask you to work at 7-eleven, you chose to do so. I'm just trying to buy my 2-for-$3 Gatorade. I come in peace. I swear. In a related matter, if you have a roof over your head and food on your plate and you still find something to whine about, you suck and you also get nothing.
~If you disrespect old people, even the perma-frown ones, you suck and you get nothing. Chances are they've seen and done a lot more than your sorry butt and they've got a solid reason for being less than perky. One exception to this rule is when you find that the car driving 45 miles per hour on 83 South is a 95 year old man making an eventual right, and you're late for work. In this case, you may flip him the bird. But you should feel guilty about it later.
~If you want to throw-down in the Target pharmacy department over where the line starts, you definitely suck and you get nothing. Next time just relax and I will let you in line in front of me. You clearly need your meds more than I.

Be grateful, be respectful, and please, please, just relax!

Vote Staub in 2011!

I'm neurotic today because...
...wait, compared to crazy-Target lady, I'm perfectly normal...today.