And I've got pictures to prove it

It's been such an eventful few days, I hardly know where to begin. What better place than...just now?

I held an impromptu cook-food-on-the-grill event tonight. All went well, with the exception of one foolish attendee suggesting I 'just relax'. I'm certain I've established by now that I rarely relax. And I'm okay with that, I really am. But in case you've been living in a cave and not reading my blog, telling me to 'just relax' does the opposite of make me relax. So please stop. If you do not stop, I promise you, I will poke you in the eye with a fork. And then I'll relax right beside your bleeding eye, just to spite you.

Last night I ventured with the kids to the good ol' District of Columbia to watch fireworks. DC is such a pretty city...at dusk, from across the river. While trying to find the perfect viewing area, I was reminded of another one of my spaz-attack triggers: bugs. I'm not afraid of them, or anything normal like that. It's when they get so thick in the air that you're inhaling them that causes me to wrap myself up in blankets in the midst of 98 degree heat. And bathe in bug spray. And wear the bug repellent fan between my ta-ta's.

I'm neurotic today because...
...if given the choice, I'd rather sweat to death than have bugs invade all my orifices, causing certain death by gross out.