It's a bird, it's a plane, it's PsychoGirl!

I might be a superhero.

Is it true if one of your five senses is weak, another sense will become stronger in compensation? I'm blind as a bat. Seriously. I can only see clearly within 12 inches of my face. Beyond that, everything is a hazy conglomeration of muted colors and shapes. On the other hand, I hear the refrigerator click on and off from two flights upstairs. I hear the garbage truck when it rolls into my neighborhood five blocks away in the wee hours of the morn'. I hear my daughter sigh as she rolls over (and over and over and over) at night. It's ridiculous.

I would like to use my supersonic hearing powers for good. I really would. Unfortunately, I can't function over the sound of you chewing your food. Try as I may to drift away to my quiet place, if I'm within fifty feet of a gum flapper, I'm going to have an episode. It's like I'm afflicted with Tourette's or something. I can't stop myself. I also apparently have a heavy sigh/run-my-fingers-through-my-hair move that signals my discontent. I can't find words to adequately describe how I feel when I'm near an open mouth chewer. It's as though Wolverine's adamantium was injected into my veins, but instead of making me awesome and indestructible, it made me crazy.

Snorers also have this affect on me.

I'm neurotic today because...
...I wish I could pull a childhood move from my bag-o-tricks and start chucking things at the offender until they stop or until I run out of objects within arms reach, whichever comes first.