You don't want this, S-CAL

Kids these days need a swift kick in the derrière. I say this knowing full well that I sound like a crotchety 80 year old lady. So be it.

Looking back 20 years through my naivete goggles, I just don't recall things going down like they do here in my comfy suburban neighbourhood. I'm not suggesting that there weren't a handful of kids who drank regularly, had the sex, and tried an illegal substance or two, but for the most part we were all really well behaved, respectful kids.

Recently, a teenage neighbourkid--we'll call him Sir-Cuss-A-Lot--has taken to drinking and smoking in the front yard. Normally I would have nothing to say about this behaviour, considering he's not my son/responsibility and I generally stay far away from neighbourhood politics... except that he does this in my front yard, in front of my children. When this situation was brought to the dinner table by my daughter (the dinner conversation moderator), my son presented a brilliant dissertation on the harmful effects of smoking and why we should convince our loved ones to stop. Phew!

However, Sir-Cuss-A-Lot blew the roof off the stupidity meter the other week. My son has several friends that often congregate at our house for an after-school Nerf gun battle. One of these young men happens to have flaming red hair. Sir-Cuss-A-Lot took it upon himself to make the following unprovoked statement to this kid: "Ah, red hair huh? Wait until you get to high school, kid. Nobody likes *#@!ing redheads in high school." Oh. Yes. He. Did.

I firmly believe this could be solved by putting my size 10 foot up Sir-Cuss-A-Lot's hind parts. Clearly this should have been done long ago. All I know is, if my kids start dropping the f-bomb at the dinner table, I'm gonna know who to put the jitzu on...and it won't be pretty, S-CAL.

It won't be pretty.

I'm neurotic today because...
...it's not all fun and games in the 'burbs, folks.